Dear Service Industry Workers:

Thank you.

I know, at this time of year especially, people can - and will - treat you like garbage. I know that those of you who work in retail will be verbally abused from now until about the middle of January, and I know most of you will take it in stride. Some of you may snap, go into the back room, break something, and then try to go on with your day.

I know that healthcare workers are dealing with a heck of a lot right now - partially due to the whole H1N1 thing, partially due to the time of year, partially due to the fact that you're always dealing with one stupid thing or another.

I know that mechanics and everyone else in automotive are gearing up for what looks to be a snowy winter. I know that people do not call their mechanic until something is urgent, and it seems that everyone has something urgent at the exact same time. I know that you will be yelled at for what people believe to be exorbitant quotations - and people may beg "since it's Christmas" to get a better price.

I know that, for the most part, there is nothing you can do.

I know that telemarketers are in one of their busiest seasons, and I know that this means people are almost terrified to answer the phone. You will also be yelled at. (however, if you are snotty to me and hang up on me when I am trying to politely decline, I do not have any sympathy for you)

I know that everyone is struggling to come in under budget and ahead of schedule, and I know that most people are looking forward to at least a few days off in the coming months. I know that most of us have holiday shopping to get done, and this means that the malls are going to be clogged and traffic is going to be horrendous.

I know that, even if we work in the service industry ourselves, we can easily become angry with those who give us poor service - or slow service - in another situation.

I know that tensions run high right now.

I also know that it would be a good idea for every single person on the planet who plans to go to the malls during the holidays - or go to a restaurant during holiday party season - ought to be required to work retail (or food service) for at least one Christmas season. Alas, this is not likely to happen.

I hate to tell you to grin and bear it, but unfortunately that's all there is to be done. Rather than snap at the idiot customer who doesn't give a hoot that you have been working for ten hours straight, on your feet, running around for hundreds of other idiot customers or patients, smile politely and think of when you're done your shift. It may not make a difference to your idiot customer.

But it may make another customer (again, or patient) take note of how you are being treated, and how you are reacting. It may make another customer come in at a different time and treat you with respect and possibly even deference because you kept your cool.

It may make that other customer comment to your manager, about the work you have done. It may make someone sit up and take notice of the hard work that you do. Respect and recognition are things that you deserve, for the work that you do. But, unfortunately, these are often contingent on how you carry yourself in a stressful situation - such as working in a toy store the last few months before Christmas.

I, for one, thank you. And I apologize because I know there'll be times when I come across as not quite your favourite customer, but I will always try to treat you with respect. I've been there. I know what it's like.

Breathe deep, punch a garbage bin on your break if you have to (but if you do, wrap your hand in fabric first or you're going to scrape your knuckles - take my word for this) and you'll get through it. If you start reciprocating your customers' snottiness, nothing good will come of the situation - I can promise you that.

It's only another two months.

Thanks again. Good luck!

~Me

To Write Love on Her Arms Day 2009

I have received many e-mails asking me about today - some in response to an e-mail I sent out to nigh on everyone in my contact list, and some in response to what I've posted on Facebook. I am glad to explain what today is all about, and why I have written "Love" on my arms.

To Write Love on Her Arms Day is simply a loosely-organized, word-of-mouth event that requires people to donate no money, no travel time, no time standing around at potentially heated and violent gatherings. There is, unfortunately, a general air of apathy within the general populace with regards to this particular cause, which is part of the reason To Write Love on Her Arms Day is so great.

For many causes, getting people "het up" or "in a state" over something is the best way to see results. If people are loud - whether they care or not - they might get better results.

This approach doesn't work well with depression, self-harm, addiction, or stuggles with suicide. A softer hand, a shoulder to cry on, an arm to hold onto, a show of support works better - and creates a longer-lasting effect - than screaming at the higher-ups to have something done.

To Write Love on Her Arms Day is a day to, literally, write the word "Love" on your arm, to show that you care and support those who are struggling with depression, self-harm, addiction, or thoughts of suicide. Even if you think you don't know anyone who battles these day in and day out, you can't know for certain. And a complete stranger, feeling low and unneeded, may see the writing on your arms and know - even for a day - that someone, somewhere, cares.

Sometimes that's all it takes.

You may be the most supportive person on the planet, but to a stranger with these struggles, walking behind you in the mall, or sitting beside you on transit, or delivering your mail, you seem to have it all together. That stranger will not approach you for support, wouldn't dare dream of asking for a helping hand.

And how can you offer a hand if you don't know that it's needed?

Simple. Today, November 13, 2009 (and every November 13), write the word "Love" on your arms. Let the world know that you care about the mental and physical health of those around you.

Last year, according to the Facebook group dedicated to this cause, there were 500,000 "Attendees." This year, so far, there are well over 1,000,000. Next year, let's shoot for 5,000,000.

After all, all you have to do is be proud of the fact that you are a supportive and caring person. Own it. Write it on your arms, so that some other person doesn't have to drag a blade across theirs.

The Pirate Song

See, now, the problem with being ill and at work is that I don't feel like working. And on occasion, drinking themed coffee (Pirate's Grog from the coffee place in Old Town San Diego - good stuff) whilst feeling ill at work leads to ridiculosity.

Avast ye, matey
we've come to the last
bottle of rum, bucket of chum
there be no more gold
no more treasures untold
no more lasses to hold
no more maps to unfold

Avast ye, scarvy
we've taken our last
dip in the drink, stab at the fink
there be no more ways
no more wait-hold-and-stays
no more wasted parlays
no more travelin' days

And the grog's all run dry
Roger hangs 'gainst the sky
Put the patch o'er yer eye
And get ready to die

Avast ye, matey
we're part of the past
parrots too shrill, ink, quill, and kill
there be no more fights
no more cannonball lights
no more X-mark'ed sites
no more noose-hangin nights

And the dubloons all dank
Every file, form, and rank
Quivered and stank
As they all walked the plank
Avast ye, matey
Prepare for the worst
Ye blackguards be cursed
Land ho

(and of course:) YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

I do not believe in gay marriage...

... now that I have your attention, I would like to ask that you hold off on lauding or hating me, throwing sticks or throwing bouquets, until you read to the end.

I do not believe in gay marriage.

What I believe in is this: the abiding, unconditional love two people must have for one another to want to share a commitment - a legal commitment - that will last for the whole of their lives. A man and a woman, a man and a man, a woman and a woman - we're all just humans. We all just want to love and be loved in return.

I do not believe that marriage should be labelled gay or straight.

Just because I would select a different mate doesn't mean I'm any better - or worse - than you. If we limit the right of those around us to share their lives with the person they most love, based solely on gender... where does it end? Will we next be determining the legality of a marriage based on the level of attractiveness of the partners? What about intelligence?

If I see a bride and groom and deem that the groom is far too handsome to be burdened by his homely bride, do I have the right to protest their wedding? If I see a woman with an IQ off the charts wishing to marry a man with an average or below-average IQ, is it within my right to ridicule both parties?

After all, we've already done the "marriage selection by skin colour" thing. That worked so well.

Marriage is sacred and should not be entered into lightly. When two people are ready, willing, and eager to make a commitment to one another, why on earth would we stand in their way?

Don't we have enough - real - problems to contend with? Do we really need to make a big, disgusting, demoralizing deal out of what should be viewed with awe and wonder?

There is so much hatred and vitriol already in the world. There's so much ugliness and pain, greed and dishonesty, we don't need any more. We don't need to sit and decide for someone whether or not the partner they have chosen is right for them. Rather than encourage judgement and discord, take comfort in the fact that there is still hope for the future. Hope that we, as human beings - as we all are - can still act selflessly enough to make someone happy for the rest of our lives, while being enriched by the happiness of another.

If your partner makes you happy, and if the vice is versa, then I say Congratulations. I may look on enviously, but don't mind me... I've been single for far too long. *wink*

The beauty of love is love itself.

And the awesome wonder of marriage is that two people are willing and wanting to make a lifelong commitment - gay, straight, or otherwise.