Heroes vs. Villains - 1989 vs. 2009

So Batman (1989) with Michael Keaton, Kim Basinger, and Jack Nicholson was just on the telly.

Of course, being a child of the 80s, I watched it! Michael Keaton is the best Batman, hands down. But that's off topic.Kim Basinger, as our heroine / requisite damsel in distress is playing a role that now, twenty years later, she would be crucified for. She faints constantly, screams like a little girl at every turn, and is entirely useless.

Nowadays, of course, she'd be proficient in muay thai and a wise-cracking bitch who allowed herself to be rescued. In Batman, not so much. She tweaks men around by their noses, but is not sexually "liberated" in the sense of our heroines today. Nicholson's Joker is, I think we can all agree, epic. It's indicative of the time period as well as of Nicholson's personal "style" and works well within Burton's vision of the topic.

But this Batman character... he's a cock-up. Nowadays, we expect our heroes to be nigh on infallible. They can be bested, physically, because we all know they will come out on top in the end. But they can't make stupid little mistakes. Batman flies directly towards a Joker who is standing there, with his arms out, waiting. Of course, we all know what that means - Joker's got a trick up his sleeve. How does Batman not see this? So he winds up with a shot-up chassis and a spectacular crash on the steps.

Today, that wouldn't work with audiences. Batman making such a monumental - yet inanely stupid - mistake? Pfft! Test audiences would be leaving the theatre and claiming it was just not realistic for a hero. Why? Because we don't want our heroes to have any sense of human failing. A sense of humanity, yes. A tortured sense of morality, yes. But an everyday, human inability to thwart his nemesis at every turn? BAH! Unrealistic.In the same vein, the best villain ever created - by anyone, anywhere - is Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty.

Why? She has no humanity, and no reason for being a villain - she simply is. She eats, sleeps, and lives the evil nature we all want in a villain. But it's not because she was thrown in a vat of acid. It's not because she was an unfortunate looking child who was raised by penguins. (Right, Batman Returns is on now) It's simply because she is evil. Her raison d'etre is raising hell. And yet, in 1959, this was an acceptable villain for a children's movie.

And now? Not only do we expect our heroes to be infallible, but we expect our villains to be at least recognizably human. We want to know the backstory for our villains, we want to know why and how they tick.

Strange. That we identify more with our villains than our heroes, and expect more of the heroes than the villains.

Or perhaps not so strange - perhaps we're only hoping to better understand the darkness in humanity while providing ourselves with a reason for not raising to the level of our heroes - we can be excused for not measuring up with a superhero in all that we do, simply because of their superness. Villains are, in a word, human.

So we can be forgiven for acting like one.

But then again... we're talking about movies.

Not real life.

Dear City of Calgary:

While I don't, personally, pay property taxes, I do expect to be treated in a manner similar to someone who does. I keep most of my hard-earned money within the city, as I do quite love it here. I am constantly attempting to get people to visit. I take photographs in and around the city which I share with those people who are unable to come here.

True, on occasion, I rant about the stupid things going on in Calgary. Stampede, construction, public transport, holiday traffic, etc. Most of my anger and annoyance come more from the people of Calgary - or, in the case of Stampede, the people visiting what they think is "the real Calgary" - but today, all my vehemence is aimed at the City of Calgary.

Our city council.

The people who run the show, as it were.

It would be nice if someone could please explain to me why, with all of the additional construction going on (ie - twinning Graves Bridge, the insane amount of construction along Deerfoot, Memorial, Crowchild, Bow, etc), why it is so difficult to keep on top of the upkeep. I understand that it is vitally important to twin some of the major routes, and ensure that traffic on the main thoroughfares moves along at a decent clip. I get that, I really do.

But why the half-assedness when it comes to the remainder of the roads in our fair city? For example, there's a pothole on Crowchild. Okay, there are many, but there's one in particular that I'm thinking of. It is in the left hand lane just south of the old barracks, on the northbound side. This pothole has, in the past three months, been filled at least twice. How do I know this?

Because I drive in the left hand lane, northbound on Crowchild, from Glenmore to 32nd. I know where this pothole is, and I have hit it often enough to now know when I need to inch towards the abutment to avoid it. The fact is this: the pothole has been filled TWICE in three months. What, exactly, is it being filled with that it needs to be fixed every few weeks?

I'm fairly certain we can all agree that the rubber pellets from recycled tires - that are used in playgrounds - are not an acceptable means of asphalt repair. And, as the pothole has not grown larger, merely continuously falling in on itself, I do not believe that we have an issue in that regard.

On westbound Glenmore, just east of the Blackfoot exit, there are not one, not two, but THREE huge potholes. If you hit one, you'll either hit all three or swerve into other lanes and risk hitting another vehicle. So, while you're in the process of making the ramp onto southbound Deerfoot pretty, and twinning the Graves Bridge and making it all pretty, I am dealing with a windshield-wide crack on my brand new vehicle.

I greatly appreciate Bronco, don't get me wrong. The man has done everything he said he would - or at least, is making progress on these projects - when he was elected. But Deerfoot feels like you're driving for kilometres over rumble strips, the surface of Glenmore looks like a pox-scarred face, and Crowchild - oh, Crowchild... And don't even get me started on Memorial or Bow Trail.

So, Calgary, I humbly request that you take a long hard look at how traffic items are prioritized. It is nice to have beautiful overpasses and fancy schmancy new lanes on Deerfoot when Stampede comes around - I realize this is a big money-maker for the city, and I am alright with that. I understand needing to ensure that those bringing their tourist dollars to our city are comfortable and feel impressed with our progress.

But we, the citizens, the people who work here day in and day out, the people who spend not just ten but three hundred and some days here, deserve a little bit of respect as well. We deserve to make the rush hour drive home without damage to our vehicles. We deserve to be treated as though our dollars matter, too.

Stampede crowds are the dessert.

Calgarians are the meal. We are the ones who buy the groceries, set the table, do the cooking, do the dishes, and wash the floor.

Please, at least pretend as though you recognize that.

Thank you,

Me